Walking Arkansas // Week 21 // Mom left and the North Little Rock KOA lady was mean to me.

Day 141 // Fredonia to Lonoke  // 27 miles // miles in total 962 (yes, these places sound made up)
Day 142/143 - Mom's last two days in town, we drove over to Hot Springs!
Day 144 // Lonoke to Little Rock // 15 miles + a little help from my momma // miles in total 977
Day 145/146 - Hangin out in Little Rock
Day 147 // Little Rock to North Little Rock // 11 miles // miles in total 988


On this day, a poorly aging bitter grey haired koa "kamp" lady yelled at me and told me I was naive and needed to grow up. I left in protest unsure of where I would stay the night. I'm so glad it happened because I got to stay with an awesome family, who took me to a great dinner that happened to be next to a comedy club that was having an open mic. Awesome! The whole family went to see standup for the first time, including Zane, 13, who after seeing the name of the venue said "a comedy club named the joint, those are like her two favorite things!" The day started off rough, but ended great, reminding me, everything is temporary, life can change with the wind, don't marinate in the bad moments, good ones might be just around the bend!

I’m here.  I’m here.  In Arkansas.  My mom’s leaving me today.  And I feel really anxious about that.  Although it’s been a really hard time being with here, ‘cause she’s my mom, and that happens.   Um, I’m going further into the middle of nowhere.  And, uh, I wonder how that’s gonna work out.  There’s still people in the middle of nowhere, though.  You just have to find the right people.  My fear is, the days are getting shorter.  So the mornings are gonna have to start getting much earlier for me.01:29:06.23                Like a real hiker.  [Sighs] So far, Arkansas has been beautiful.  And it’s September 6th right now.  So I’ve, I’ve pretty much been on the road for five months.I feel good about that.  It’s September.  I gotta be done by O-, mm, uh, December.  Like, I wanna be home.  I wanna be in New York by January 7th.  That’s my birthday.  I turn 30.  I know.  You can’t tell. [Picks up pen and paper] I’ve been trying to write.  But it doesn’t come out as jokes.  It comes out more like prose poetry.
51:30:25.02                Okay.  Third time’s the charm.  This is gonna be great.  Um...Yeah.  Both the cards I used before were full.  So, I didn’t realize that. Um.  Yeah.  So, I was in this place, Covington.  It’s very white.  In this café, eating, um, a chicken salad sandwich and there were, like, a lot of WASP-y women around, and... So I wrote this.  Sometimes I’ll stop somewhere for lunch.  Maybe on a day off, and I’ll feel like a real person, almost.  But then I’ll start unloading things out of all my bags, and I’ll remember, because they don’t let me forget. You feel alone when you're traveling, even when others join you along the way.  Sometimes even more alone when others join you along the way.  [Whispering] People walking in...on my slam poetry.

01:32:01.16                I listen to these people’s stories, and, uh, one about church, and the worship song.  This other one started with the mall.  These stories fall flat.  You know, the stories in the South always do that.  They share a YouTube video at the table.  “Oh my word,” one woman exclaims.  I didn’t look to see the video.  Wouldn’t like it if they thought I cared.  Wouldn’t like it if I thought they — wouldn’t like it if I thought they cared. Interesting, the act of not caring what others think is the acknowledgment that you care what others think. It’s easy in this town.  It’s easy in these towns.  No time to question.  More time to be.  Work, work, work to pay for a lifestyle built around caring what other people think.  But isn’t that what I’m doing, after all?  [Sighs]  The simple life, they call it.  Because does it pay to know the truth? Do we pay to know the truth?  No.  Because the other is a lie.  Several times, I’ve imagined quitting.  No Bible study in the summer?  It’s crazy. My moms is leaving me.   And I’m gonna start walking in the fucking outback of Arkansas.  And it’s [hot].  It’s very hot.  Arkansas.

01:34:56.12                People are watching me right now, ‘cause these are rooms.  [Gets up and turns camera] Back here.  And they're watching.  They're judging.  Who cares.  This is pretty.  Look at this.  Look at that.  It’s nice.01:35:20.21[Turns camera back to herself] It’s nice. Five months. Five months on the road. It’s kinda crazy. I wanna be back to New York by January 7th.  That’s my birthday, and I turn 30.